The next in the series of knowing your options for divorcing parents is the role of Divorce Coach. A relatively new role, the divorce coach is recognized by the American Bar Association (ABA) and may be the perfect route to go for the average person going through separation or divorce. The ABA defines the role of divorce coach on their website in this manner: “Divorce coaching is a flexible, goal-oriented process designed to support, motivate, and guide people going through divorce to help them make the best possible decisions for their future, based on their particular interests, needs, and concerns. Divorce coaches have different professional backgrounds and are selected based on the specific needs of the clients.”
A divorce coach can assess what is needed, or not needed, in your situation and guide you accordingly. Clients can include one or both parties, can include both men and women, and are typically people looking for support and guidance through the divorce process. Both during and after a divorce, clients often experience painful emotions and a loss of direction for their life. They often do not feel whole for a period of time. It is the role of the divorce coach to support the client through this difficult time and to assist the client in creating an action plan that is solution-focused. Specifically, coaches can assist clients in establishing effective communications with their former partner and develop an effective co-parenting relationship with the other parent. This serves the needs of the children well, as the greatest threat of harm to the children of divorce is exposure to their parents’ conflict.
A divorce coach can assist clients in moving past the pain of divorce, from a place of brokenness to viewing themselves as whole and complete. The coach serves to increase the self-confidence of the client, separating emotions from legal issues that must be addressed, and overcoming the barriers that often prevent parties from moving forward. The transition from married life to being single again, especially for people in long-term marriages, is often difficult, and for those who did not choose the divorce, it may be viewed only negatively. A divorce coach can identify the benefits of being single and help the party move on. Lastly, the divorce coach can assist the client or clients, if working with both parties, to set clear co-parenting goals. Divorcing parents often do not know the pitfalls of co-parenting, and a good divorce coach can make your life much easier moving forward by identifying the things that will cause you difficulty if not addressed up front.
The money spent on a divorce coach is well worth the cost if it saves you from spending thousands of dollars each on attorneys and/or the different types of evaluations that may be encouraged or suggested to the divorcing parent. It also creates a healthier legacy for your children, who also did not choose to have this happen in their lives. The goal of the coach is to make this as healthy a process as possible while moving toward an amicable outcome. And this is in everyone’s best interest.
~Dr. Marlene
